Flash forward

I cannot believe that July is almost over, I am in serious shock! I do not want July to be over, I do not want it to be August because it just means that I'll have to go back to Kent. Do I miss Kent? Yes! Do I miss all the stress that comes with it? No! This semester should be an awesome one! I'm taking 4 history classes, Japanese and a Nutrition class that counts as a science. Hopefully I won't lose my mind over those classes; the only thing I'm really worried about is my living situation...considering my last 2 roommates went completely psycho on me.

Another thing that surprises me is time, usually in summer time becomes slower for me..long drags of just nothing. But not this summer, time is flying by! It probably didn't help that I was gone for a month, but then again its worth it! I still have a lot to do, my room is getting there but its not to a point where I can paint it..that needs to get done because I am not living another year here staring at fading, purple flower wallpaper, nope!

I am also happy to announce that I'll be opening a shop called Amorette's Grotto where I'll selling homemade jewelry among other crafty things. I want to get some items made this week and open the shop hopefully sometime this week. I'm very excited about it too, I've always wanted to do something like this! I'll be posting links to shop very soon :)

Eric has been busy with training a lot more than usual lately, the night he got back to Japan...he had two hours of sleep before he was flying back to Fuji for a training operation. Crazy huh? But he seems to be doing well, complains and rants to me every now and then, but I don't mind. I do wish we could call each other and actually have a normal conversation, but considering the net can't keep us connected its highly unlike that I'll hear him before December. I missed him a lot last week, the first 7 days is always the hardest for some reason. I'm excited for him to come home for a long period of time, I'm excited he'll 2 states away from me, I'm excited that we will be able to text and call again and I'm excited to marry him. However with the way certain people have been acting we might elope before next July, so who knows! lol.

Summer is fading and I need to make things happen!



Flash forward and we’re taking on the world together,& there’s a drawer of my things at your place. You learn my secrets and you figure out why I’m guarded, you say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes.


You are the best thing, thats ever been mine~

Sick of goodbye.

Its been awhile since I last wrote anything, considering I've been on the run the past month its a miracle that I'm not dead or something..because I have been running non-stop. Not that I mind, I love to travel! Vegas was beautiful and Myrtle Beach was great as always. My parents and I had a great time at the condo, it was nice to swim in the Atlantic and cover my toes in the sweet sand. However, for the first time in my life...I couldn't wait to get back to Ohio.

Because I was harboring a secret from many, many people. Eric got leave somehow and was coming home.

Which was supposed to be a happy, nice getaway leave...(and for the most part it was.) turned into a stressful time. For the first 3 days of Eric's leave, we went to Hocking Hills which was absolutely fabulous! The people that worked there, the cabin, just getting away from everything to just be with each other...was amazing. There are no words to describe how once you don't see someone every day or every other day, you forget things: the sound of their voice, the warmth of their laugh, how vivid the color of their eyes are, how everything changes once they are back in your arms. Eric and I had a good time, we really wanted this leave to catch up and keep our relationship in check. We needed to see each other, we needed that time together. But every time Eric takes leave, something freaking happens! The turtle (my car) acts up, he gets sick, someone that we didn't get to see gets mad, people are mad because he's not there with them and doing something else. Really, it is one of the most frustrating things I have ever had to deal with..the petty-ness, the jealously, the tug o war when it comes to Eric's time when he is home...drives me insane to the point where I want to punch someone in the face. Me on the other hand, I don't care what we are doing as long as I'm with Eric and he is happy. Thats all I care about. Like always though, time went too fast! Our time at the cabin ended, engagement pictures were taken and the next thing I knew..we were back at the airport and I was kissing him goodbye. Isn't it funny that airports can be both happy and sad places?

Everything is just a blur to me right now, I can't believe that just hours ago I was with Eric. It really kills me to type that or think that...he was in my arms just hours ago. Time is a cruel mistress, for the past 7 months it went by fast! Just ticking away, but today..one of the hardest days I've had in awhile is slowly, ever so slowly taking its time to end. I want today to end, I want to wake up tomorrow and start over because my summer vacation is also ticking away. I still have lots of things I want to do and I really need to get my butt in gear.

I wish I could just close my eyes and open them and be on Christmas break in December but we all know that life doesn't work like that. I have to go back to school, deal with classes, tests, loud/rude/crazy people and several other things. The only thing that will keep going is this: next time Eric is in the states, whenever that may be...he will be home for good. We'll be together and a few more months after that...spring then summer we'll be married and hopefully I'll be moving to North Carolina to be with him.

Next summer I'm going to marry my best friend and be at his side, instead of thousands of miles apart. Nothing will keep (minus the Marine Corp occasionally :P) us apart and these horrible goodbyes won't have to happen anymore.

I look forward to that day.

What happens in Vegas..ends up on my blog.

What a whirlwind the past week has been! I love the West, I thought Arizona was great (still do!) but Nevada was just as amazing too. I love the heat and so my allergies, I didn't sniffle or hardly anything when I was out there. It was so great...to feel "normal" for once.

The hotel we stayed at was amazing too, when you walked into the lobby they had a small pond with koi fish and swans! Their names were Priscilla and Elvis, too funny. We were also close to the strip but still far enough from the craziness; the traffic reminded of New York City, the drivers were pretty insane but it wasn't that bad but still crazy! My dad had a few choice words for them sometimes when we were driving though, lol. I loved the city, the casinos themes were pretty cool and when I say they went all out, they went all out. My favorite Casinos were the Venetian, Treasure Island and Luxor (which I didn't to go into but was still able to take pictures.) The Venetian was insane! Inside the ceiling had clouds and it was like walking outside in Italy and they even had a river running through the "mini" city with gondolas!

We even saw a couple get married on one of the arches as gondola's went under it which was pretty cool, some of the couple's family were there and a crowd surrounded the area clapping and cheering. It made me smile (and made me even consider getting married there if wedding planning becomes too much for me! lol!).

While my dad went to work for a few hours, I laid out by the pool which was usually empty when I went out to visit. The pool was incredible, probably the most amazing pool I have ever seen. It had two hot tubs shaded under Palm Trees, while the pool had a small waterfall you could lay under or jump into. I know it may sound crazy, but I preferred the hot tub. It was about 106-108 degrees every day, but I didn't mind the heat! I would lay in the hot tub for a bit then get out, listen to music or read. It was great! I read the first Hunger Games book at the pool and honestly I wasn't that impressed. The world it was set in was very interesting, but besides that..really didn't enjoy it that much...kids killing kids. Okay? lol. I might read it again, who knows maybe I'll like it better. Anyway, I don't know what it is about getaways and vacations but they really make you think about things.

While I stayed at the pool for those few hours every day I thought what was going in my life, what I had did in the past few months, the past year, what I've done since I graduated. It was nice reflecting on myself and even my future, but it also made me a little bit disappointed in what I haven't done and it made me want to focus on more things that I want to do..while I can still do them.

More than ever though, being in Vegas made me miss Eric more than usual. Couples were everywhereg and even though most of the time I ignore them and look the other way, I couldn't do that in Sin City...they were literally everywhere. And it made me sad that my marine wasn't there with me.

I really hope I can go back with Eric someday and enjoy/explore Vegas more. It was a wonderful experience and I know for a fact I belong in the West!

Now off to the beach Tuesday!

Baseball.

Things are starting to get busy. After 7 days off from Baseball I'm starting to umpire a lot again, I had a game yesterday, today, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Honestly, who knows if I'll get any more games after that because June 25-28th I am going to Las Vegas with my Dad. Once we get back to Ohio we are leaving for the beach! I am soooooo excited to go back to Myrtle Beach, so, so excited!

I miss the Beach and I miss the Condo we stay at too. I really do love that place, hardly any people, quiet and only a small walk from to the Beach. I am so excited to go back. 

I love umpiring, this is my 3rd year umpiring and considering I played Baseball (with guys) till I was 13 and played softball till I was 19..I am pretty sure I know what I'm doing. I've read the rules over and over and I know how the game like the back of my hand. This year, I've really only worked with the 11 and 12 year olds and sometimes the 13-14 year olds. The 11 and 12 boys are my absolute favorite! I've known most of those boys because when I started umpiring they were in the lower leagues, so the past 3 years I've gotten to know these boys pretty well and watched them grow as ball players. Most of the time, the games are fun! The boys play hard and at that level (11 and up!) they pretty much know what they are doing (most of the time, haha!) so the games go well. Sometimes a coach complains and parents chime in, but so far this year...I haven't had any real problems.

However, with both Stow and Wadsworth teams the head coaches refused to shake my hand at the before the game coaches meeting and ran their mouths throughout both games complaining that I was a girl, said that I didn't know what I was doing because I was female.

Never, ever in my life...have I been discriminated so much because of my gender. It has really opened my eyes to being discriminated against. I can't even imagine if there are so many people who are against me umpiring because I am female, how hard is for Asian, Latin, Black, Hispanic, LBGT community and other nationalities to survive in this country? No wonder there are so many problems in this country and we can't get anything done in Washington! Sheesh!

Last night, when I umpired a 9-10 year old game...it was absolute chaos. The game hadn't even went on for 5 minutes before the parents and coaches were screaming. Usually when someone yells at me or disagrees with a call I make, I ignore them. I look the other way and act as if they aren't even there, because frankly..I don't care. I know I made the right call, if someone is out I will call them out and if someone is safe I'll call them safe. Last night was probably the most infuriating game I had to umpire. One, because the coaches and parents who screamed, yelled, tried to start a fist fight on the field and told my partner to go die (because he's elderly but not that elderly!) were setting horrible examples for their kids. Two, at that age they are learning HOW to play the game; yes, its the playoffs and both teams want to win, I understand that..I've been there. But acting like animals and setting bad examples for the kids isn't going to help any of that.

Today and most of next week, I am with the same age group and the same field. From today on, I am telling both teams..if anyone says a word to me or yells or screams or becomes violent...I am throwing them out of the game and if things become worse..I am calling the police.

I am not putting up with anymore crap from sexist, rude, idiotic people..who know nothing about the game of Baseball. I don't get paid enough to put up with this psycho-ness. I love the kids and I love the game and that is why I umpire.

And I am not going to let any hateful people stop me from doing what I love.

Thankful.

I just want to take a moment and just say how thankful I am for certain people in my life, thankful for the places I've been able to go to and for experiences (both good and bad) I've been able to have. Thankful that I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach...thankful that all my animals are well and healthy.

I am thankful that my Grammy is starting to walk again (slowly!) after hip replacement surgery a few months back. I am thankful that I am umpiring again, even though it has its ups and downs...I love my boys and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. I am thankful that I have such amazing parents, my mom works so hard and puts everyone around her first before herself. She is amazing. My father and I don't always get along, but I know he'll always be my dad and  throughout it all he'll be there for me, no matter what.

Lastly, I am thankful for the man I have by my side. I am so blessed to have such an amazing, caring, supportive person to share the rest of my life with.

Thank you God for all of this and so much more, I am so thankful and happy.

Memorial Day 2012

April, May, June and July always makes me think of where I was two years ago: still in High school, fighting to get out of there and waiting for Eric to finish with boot camp. It was one of the worst and best experiences of my life; running to the mail box every day, staying up 3 days in a row with Eric during the Crucible...wrapping my arms around him during Family Day hearing his voice and not recognizing him because he was screaming so much.

And I am just so proud of Eric and all of his accomplishments that he has done with the USMC. I can't wait to start our lives together and I can't wait to be his wife, a marine wife. The respect and thanks that I had for active military personnel and Veterans before Eric joined the marines, only increased when he became one.

I've always been thankful of our Veterans and active military personnel. I have very little good memories of high school but I will always remember my Freshman year, the first Veteran's Day Assembly I went to. There was a  veteran who was in a wheel chair and had participated in The Battle of the Bulge during World War Two. Even though he couldn't walk or stand very well, when his song played...that man stood up while his legs shook beneath him. I remember sitting in the choir section crying my eyes out watching that man.

I know that I will always be thankful to our Veterans, past and present for as long as I live. What they give up, what they sacrifice so that I can be free and have the freedom to do whatever I want means the absolute world to me. It makes me sick that we have so many men and women giving up their lives in the desert across the Atlantic and that most of the country doesn't care about those people or even remembers that we STILL have people over there. What makes me even more upset is that a lot of people (and maybe even some of you reading this) doesn't support our military. We still have husbands, boyfriends, brothers, sisters, fathers deploying for months and months...away from their loved ones, family and friends and it breaks my heart to not see this country care.

My mom and I are going to visit the Ohio Cemetery today and I know that I will cry seeing all the men and women who were put to rest there. I will never forget why I am free and I will always honor those who gave up everything, even their own lives so that I can be free.

Thank you Active Military personnel and Veterans past and present. Freedom is not free. 

I never thought things would be like this.

Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine myself in the future...five years from now and sometimes it makes me smile, other times it scares me. I don't know what is wrong with the world or this country, jobs are hard to find and people are going through rough patches in their lives.

Eric joined the marines because of several reasons: becoming a marine and fighting for his country was always a dream of his ever since he was young, he was struggling with school and didn't like it in general and lastly, he just felt stuck. He wanted (and needed) to change for the better. The marines would help him start over with his life and they did. The Marine Corp promised him a duty station close to home, North Carolina and a certain job..but both of those promises didn't happen. He went from Radio Operator to Recon and got stationed across the world to Okinawa, Japan for 24 months (2 years). To make even things even more annoying, his time in Japan got extended to 28 months awhile back and he is supposed to be back in the states FOR GOOD February 2013. He was originally supposed to be back in the states November 2012.

In all honesty, I really wanted (and still do!) him to rejoin the Marines because there is nothing in the job market and there's nothing especially in Ohio. Another reason why I want him to continue on with the marines is all that Recon training! Why let all that training go to waste? I truly believe he can do something great if he continues on with the marines. However we found out that the marines aren't really taking back any more marines in his job area. He was going to continue with either radio operating or Recon. But now..with all the cutbacks (BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR BROTHER ARE JOINING MARINES/OTHER BRANCHES OF THE MILITARY ><) going on, he might just end up with Recon..which isn't bad..it just gives us less options.

Its just a really bad feeling, not knowing whats going or having an idea of what is going to happen next. I really hope he gets stationed somewhere east coast or the south. Above everything and even my own feelings, I want him to get stationed where it will help with his job, no matter where that is at. I'm kind of scared though, I want to be with Eric no matter what but I am also afraid of leaving my animals, some friends , family and most of all my mom behind.

Am I really brave enough to leave everything and everyone I know to be with Eric? Sometimes I think I am and sometimes I don't.

There is a feeling in my gut that is telling me that 2013 is going to be the year that in which I'll have to look forward without knowing where I'm going. I just hope that I am strong enough to deal with the trials and tests that are going to pop out in front of me in the near future.