Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine myself in the future...five years from now and sometimes it makes me smile, other times it scares me. I don't know what is wrong with the world or this country, jobs are hard to find and people are going through rough patches in their lives.
Eric joined the marines because of several reasons: becoming a marine and fighting for his country was always a dream of his ever since he was young, he was struggling with school and didn't like it in general and lastly, he just felt stuck. He wanted (and needed) to change for the better. The marines would help him start over with his life and they did. The Marine Corp promised him a duty station close to home, North Carolina and a certain job..but both of those promises didn't happen. He went from Radio Operator to Recon and got stationed across the world to Okinawa, Japan for 24 months (2 years). To make even things even more annoying, his time in Japan got extended to 28 months awhile back and he is supposed to be back in the states FOR GOOD February 2013. He was originally supposed to be back in the states November 2012.
In all honesty, I really wanted (and still do!) him to rejoin the Marines because there is nothing in the job market and there's nothing especially in Ohio. Another reason why I want him to continue on with the marines is all that Recon training! Why let all that training go to waste? I truly believe he can do something great if he continues on with the marines. However we found out that the marines aren't really taking back any more marines in his job area. He was going to continue with either radio operating or Recon. But now..with all the cutbacks (BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR BROTHER ARE JOINING MARINES/OTHER BRANCHES OF THE MILITARY ><) going on, he might just end up with Recon..which isn't bad..it just gives us less options.
Its just a really bad feeling, not knowing whats going or having an idea of what is going to happen next. I really hope he gets stationed somewhere east coast or the south. Above everything and even my own feelings, I want him to get stationed where it will help with his job, no matter where that is at. I'm kind of scared though, I want to be with Eric no matter what but I am also afraid of leaving my animals, some friends , family and most of all my mom behind.
Am I really brave enough to leave everything and everyone I know to be with Eric? Sometimes I think I am and sometimes I don't.
There is a feeling in my gut that is telling me that 2013 is going to be the year that in which I'll have to look forward without knowing where I'm going. I just hope that I am strong enough to deal with the trials and tests that are going to pop out in front of me in the near future.
You don't think you are strong enough and then...come to find out...you are. Because you can always come home and people can always come visit, but (as you well know by now) you can't always be with your soulmate. We hear rumors everyday of the military downsizing and the best that Neal can do is continue to pass his PT tests, continue to take his classes for promotion, continue working on his master's degree, and be willing to move wherever they need us. I think military families have gotten a little spoiled with PCS's because they could kind of choose where they wanted to go. But as the forces draw down, we are being asked to sacrifice just as much as our military spouses. And I know you are up for the job!
ReplyDeleteThank you Ally :)
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