So here's what happened:

I had an accident yesterday, which left me in the ER for 4 (almost 5!) hours along with a concussion and a bad neck strain along with a horrible ugly cast around my neck.

Lets rewind to boot camp class: We were playing non-stop tag, always moving with 3 people who were "it" if you got tagged you had to do 20 push ups, 20 mountain climbers or 20 burpees. Now I was one of the people who were "it" and I was about to tag someone when this kid comes out of nowhere and literally shoves me to the ground. My left leg went behind my right and my neck hit the floor (we were inside the MACC annex in one of the gyms) and then bounced hitting my head. Now...for a few seconds everything was black, but then like 2 seconds later I started screaming. Now my instructor ran over to me right away and then I realized what happened, stopped screaming and just laid there. I couldn't feel my left shoulder and my head and neck hurt so much that it was excruciating.

After talking about it for awhile with my instructor and my mom over the phone, we decided to go to the health center first before calling the squad. However when I got to the health center in the lobby I almost fell over because I got super dizzy. Thankfully enough, 7 nurses basically jumped over the counter and grabbed me before I could fall. It was pretty funny though watching those elderly nurses hold me up, considering I'm 5'7 and most of them were 5'4 and 5'3.

The head doctor of Dewese looked at me and said he couldn't do anything really, I needed CAT scans and head scans and that they needed to call the squad. After a horrible, bumpy ride to Akron General and a crying fit over getting a stupid IV in my arm DURING THE BUMPY CAR RIDE, we made it to the hospital.

Now, I have an anxiety disorder...my head was throbbing because of the bumpy car ride, I was strapped down to the point where I couldn't move...so once we got there I started crying my eyes out because I got really scared. So what do these lovely bitchy nurses do? They start telling me to calm down and got real mean with me. Like really? So once I calmed down, the doctor looked at me and said I needed scans and pain meds. After waiting a few hours, with pain meds in my system and scans done...they came to the conclusion that I have a bad concussion along with a neck strain.

So I am okay, but I hurt and my neck is very sore. My head doesn't hurt that very badly but when I move around I still get a bit dizzy. The only few things that is annoying that I had to miss classes and tutoring today, wearing this stupid collar and that kid who pushed me.

All I can say is...I can't believe I got taken down by tag. Really Katy?

Hello & Goodbye.

Eric got back from South Korea on Saturday and we thought he would be back in Okinawa for a few months but he got orders to get back on ship to go to the Philippines for another 3 weeks. Which really upset me because I know we wouldn't be able to talk during that time and it made me even sadder because I know we couldn't talk on Easter. Its times like these that really make me want to punch the marine corp in the face.

The good thing about all this, is that when he goes back Oki is that I should be in finals week or I'll be home for good and we'll be able to talk a lot more. With all the papers and the one midterm coming up for me, I'll be busy but I am going to miss him so much. I guess he's going to be jumping in the Philippines too which bothers me a bit, but I know he'll be okay...he enjoys it and knows what he's doing so I'm not that worried, but still.

I wish things were different, I wish we could talk all the time and more than ever I wish I could see him. But I know that I can't and I can't control something that can't be changed. So, I don't want to be upset..I want to keep moving forward and just finish this semester strong. Maybe this will be a good thing, it gives me motivation to get done with all this work so that once I move back home, I'll be able to talk to him again. 

The Importance of Money.

So I think my dad finally realized that I really am engaged and that I am getting married next year..so now he's trying to find a way to get me to stay here lol. He said that if he won the lottery and offered me 10 million dollars that I wouldn't get married and move away. Lol, no dad, for the record..I wouldn't.

You need money to survive in this world, which to me is frustrating at times. I'm very lucky to have what I have and I am so thankful! My family has been through hell when it comes to money because of this economy, but we've hung in there and you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way because its made me realize that you don't need money to make you happy and really you don't. I remember when Eric and I first started dating, we had no money! So we played video games and watched movies! When we did have money we used coupons and went to Swensons. I had so much fun during that time, it didn't matter that we had no money lol.

I really want to find a summer job. I love my parents they give spending money but frankly I am sick of them giving me money. I am 20 years old and I should have my own source of income. I was really hoping to work at Dayton's nursery but I was declined because they needed someone to work for them that very day and I couldn't because I was still in school. Which is so frustrating! Sometimes I rather work than go to school to be honest. I actually wish I could do that but my parents want me to go to college, which is fine because deep down I know thats the right thing to do.

However, I am 98% sure I'm going to be umpiring again, which I'm happy and excited about. I love baseball and all the kids, they are so entertaining and so much fun to watch. I really do enjoy getting to know them and watching them grow as ball players.  Plus I'm getting paid by Kent State for taking notes for the Health Center so there's some extra cash too.

I'm going to make up list for things I want to save up for: I want at least $200 for Myrtle Beach, $180 for a 3DS and I also want to start saving for Eric and mine's honeymoon :) we'll see how this goes!

Changing & Comparing.

First of all, I've had an amazing Spring Break. Either global warming is real or God decided to let some warmth come to Ohio, who knows! Either way, I'm really happy and thankful for the past 9 days. I really needed to come home, hug my animals, hangout with my mom and just relax. You know, I have been stressed out for the past few months that when I came home on Friday...everything caught up to me. I literally slept for 3 days it felt like! And this whole week I've felt like a zombie, which isn't a good feeling lol. But even with that, I've had a lovely week. I hung out with Brenna Wednesday which was nice, I love her to death :) the rest of the week my mom and I just focused on Spring cleaning and my room. We've gotten a lot done! I'm going to be really sad to leave tomorrow but at the same time, I'm ready to finish up with this semester. 5 weeks Monday!

Eric left for ship a week ago, two weeks tomorrow and he originally told me that he'll be on ship for like 2 weeks and that he would contact me soon. Well, the first week I was like, no problem! He'll call me soon, no worries! However after looking on the ship's facebook page its clear that its going to be longer than two weeks and I just wish I could talk to him. I know he has to be busy though, otherwise he would of tried to contact me. I do miss him a lot but he's on a ship so he can't get into too much trouble right? I have so many things to tell him about Spring Break, wedding planning and I just can't wait to talk to him.

Which brings me to the point of writing this blog. When I joined facebook it was the beginning of the summer when I just became a junior I believe. And I wrote status after status, stupid status' about what I was doing and complaining etc. Like, I would write a status about how I was going to sleep. What the heck? lol! Now once I was forced into a timeline, I looked back at what I used to write and I was shocked. I was such a whiny brat, like really. Its kinda funny though, looking back to seeing how I am now, I'm not the same person that I used to be and I am glad that I'm not.

Now, when I started dating Eric I wrote status' counting down when I would see him, how much I missed him...over and over again. Like, that was so unnecessary. Status' about 74, 73 days...every day again and again. No matter how much you miss someone, posting status' repeatedly of how much you miss them or how hard your relationship is...doesn't make up for the fact that you are in a long distance relationship. I don't know if you are trying to show off or if you think your relationship is better than everyone else's, but you need to stop. Its annoying. You and your significant other are a part from each other and deal with the military so apparently that makes you better than everyone else? No it doesn't.

What frustrates me the most though, is the fact that your husband is stationed in the states. Yes, Hawaii is a part of the states you know and yes, you deal with a 6 hour time difference. But guess what? I deal with a 12-14 (depends on the time change.) time difference and I am lucky if I get to talk to Eric for 20 minutes on a daily basis. Do you see me freaking out and publicly displaying my annoyances on facebook when I don't get to talk to Eric enough? No.

So do me a favor, keep your relationship to yourself and not on facebook. And please, PLEASE don't compare your relationship to others, especially mine. Compared to what I go through, yours isn't as bad as you think it is.

Sweet Spring Break!

Finally on Spring Break! I'm so glad to be away from Kent for awhile, don't get me wrong..I love Kent and all, but I needed to get away for awhile. I got such a warm welcome from all my animals too and esp. when I saw my mom when she came to pick me up. It made me really realize how hard its going to be when I move with Eric once we get married.

Speaking of Eric, I haven't heard from him since Sunday which kinda sucks. I'm not worried or anything considering I know he's on ship so I know he must be busy and have limited contact. I do miss him though, I hope he's okay, doing his best.

I'm hanging in there and I am hoping to have a good Spring Break. We'll see how this week goes :)

Where is my mind?

My head hurts really badly and its probably because of  Ohio being bipolar, like always. I really cannot stand this state. Anyway...

You know that song by the Pixies, where is my mind? Its on the soundtrack from Fight Club and Sucker Punch, however I like this version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZMrp8yDM78 better because its a duet. I've been listening to it a lot and I just feel like it just fits how I feel right now. I've been studying for midterms, going to tutoring for math and writing endless papers. In the middle of all of it, my thoughts seem to just drift from what I'm doing and I just feel so out of it.

And then there's Eric of course. He's not getting leave in June so I doubt I'll see him, if I do see him it'll be in December and I'm not going to get my hopes up for that either. There are days when I am fine, completely happy, stressed but fine. And there are days like today when I just want ache, I feel horrible and I just miss him so much that it feels like my heart is going to burst. I had such high hopes for June...he was going to come home, we were going to get Engagement pictures done, maybe go to the beach together. Now I'm going to spend the summer once again without him. I miss him so much and it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach that I'm not going to see him till December.

I'm trying to lose weight and its so hard, so hard. Its frustrating because I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror half the time and since I'm so stressed all I want to do is eat. I'm trying so hard with everything, school, midterms, being away from home, keeping my sanity, dealing with this distance/hardly talking to Eric. Sometimes I feel like its all too much for me sometimes, like right now I feel so overwhelmed. My thoughts are all over the place and I am shocked that I can even write this right now.

I wish my head would stop hurting so I could finish this paper.

From bad to worse.

So I haven't posted about Eric for awhile and things have been quiet really; he's been working on his job and working out hardcore getting ready for the recon course this fall/next year (we aren't sure yet) and I've been busy with school. Now, we thought Eric would be able to take leave in June, come home for 2 weeks then go back to Japan and come back to the states for good in November. Well...thats not the case now.

First of all, his 2 year got extended to February 2013, when he was supposed to come back for good to the states November 2012. So I was really upset by that because of several reasons, one I am sick and tired of the 14 hour time difference, it gets REALLY annoying and frustrating at times. Two, he only gets two weeks for Christmas/New Years leave so if he was in the states and he went back to his duty station I could of visited during my month break after. So I got my hearts up and that was stupid of me and I was sad for a bit, but he'll be back in the states sometime, just not as soon as I wanted.

Soon after I got those news, we found out that there's a rumor/been talk of how Eric and I guess the rest of his unit aren't allowed to take leave in June, so basically..I'm going to go for almost a year (Jan to Dec) without seeing Eric. I don't know what to think, I hope its not true and I pray thats its just a huge misunderstanding. I really wish I could go to Japan to see him, he wouldn't be able to take leave but at least I could see him before work, after work and the weekend too of course. But I doubt that could happen, but I have hope.

I just hope whatever happens, is that we do find a way to see each other. I just want to see him, even for a minute, maybe two. I'll take what I can get.

Fingers crossed.