I'll be honest, I've been having a really bad week since Saturday. Ever since this crazy weather has been going from cold to warm, warm to cold...back and forth its been making me sick. My allergies have going nuts and I just haven't been feeling well. Its mainly my head, my nose and my entire body is really hurting. But the main struggle I'm having is sleeping, I'm too hot then too cold and it flip flops back and forth, then I can't sleep and I'm exhausted the next day.
Last night I couldn't sleep and so I thought I would call Eric. I reach over to my phone to call him and then I stop, realizing that I can't call him and that really upset me. I tossed and turned the rest of the night. I woke up this morning feeling so out of it, so tired and my body still ached. Usually I like Tuesday mornings because I have my first history class of the week and I knew we were supposed to start discussing the American Revolution (one of my favorites.) I should of been excited! Interested! But I wasn't, I just sat there taking notes like a zombie really not engrossed into the lecture like I usually am.
Eric and I have have hardly talked, he keeps falling asleep on me and I'm not mad that he does, because he does need the sleep! Besides, Japan and Ohio have a 14 hour time difference..its 3:33 PM here but its 5:55 AM there..its just frustrating because we can never finish a conversation. And well...I'm lonely. But here's the thing: I'm alone, but I don't want to be around anyone...but at the same time..I don't want to be alone, makes complete sense right? lol, not!
Days like today make me just want to not do anything, they make me want to be sad and down and just blah. Its frustrating (again!) because I've been so happy lately! I've been really working on myself to a point where I can be happy even though everything in my life isn't exactly the way I want it to be. I miss Eric, I miss him so much that last night I swear my heart hurt. It doesn't help that I feel sick or hopeless right now but you know..the oddest thing happened here..
The Sun is out and it is January 31st. It isn't just a regular sun either, its a pretty, pure, bright sun...like a summer sun. I don't know about you, but I believe in signs. The cold isn't going to last forever, the sun will (and it has!) come out again. Today might not be so good but tomorrow could be!
I'm just in a rough patch right now I think, adjusting to him being halfway across the world and my allergies adjusting to psycho Ohio/making me sick. I just gotta remember that the sun will come out again, just like it has today.
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