Last Day in the states

I've been wanting to start a blog for so long, but I made a tumblr instead writing more about things on there..but its mostly pictures & such..so I just decided to write a blog mainly on my life, updating family & friends on whats going on. I also wanted to start a blog because I have a year left dealing with Eric in Japan & I like it would be pretty neat to look back once its all over. So here I go:

School has been going well, I like my classes & most of my professors. Its a much better semester than last, I feel so much more comfortable with everything too. & I am glad that I changed my major, it was for the better in the end. I live alone again (thank god psycho moved out!) & I'm glad I do. Sometimes it gets lonely but overall its not that bad!  I had my first midterm today (who has a midterm 2 weeks into the semester? like really?) & I have my other midterms for my history classes coming up in February. I'm really excited for February.

Tomorrow is going to be very hard for me, I think. Eric has been in the states since December 21st & its been so surreal! Spending Christmas & New Years with was him was just amazing, it was great to have him home! Even after he left I got the opportunity to visit him in Arizona & that was probably one of the most amazing experiences I ever had; not only that because I got to see Eric & just be with each other, but because Arizona was amazing, one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I am so thankful that I got to spend a few more time with him and travel, so, so so thankful! But tomorrow, Eric goes back to Asia, back to Japan for another 12 months which means...

No texting, no good morning texts, no random silly texts, no phone calls, no goodnight phone calls, no more singing to each other on the phone. & that sucks. Yes, phones don't work in Japan..our only communication is facebook & skype, which most of the time...doesn't work because the internet over there is horrible. We also won't be able to play world of warcraft together anymore which really makes me sad, its something we did together when we were apart in the states, it kept us connected you know? So its hard to let go of all of that.

I really hate that we have to be apart from each other, the sad thing though? I'm used to it & I just wish we could be together, married, away wherever he is stationed, happy & living our lives. I envy all the wives that I used to be close to that got married right after their husband's training, moved away with them & are just so happy. I think its funny though to hear them complaining about something & to me its like...do you not know how LUCKY are to be with your man? Yes the marine corp mainly has him for the majority of his time but you are still there with him aren't you? I would kill to be in your shoes, really.

I love college & I love Kent, but I rather be with Eric. I don't belong here, in this cold, bipolar and boring state. There is nothing here for me, the major that I am in, once I finish school...there are no jobs here for me, Ohio has nothing. The only thing that would make me want to come back here is my parents, my cats, my dogs, some friends & some other members of my family. I've always wanted to get married, maybe not so young but I know thats what I always wanted.

Maybe its because my mama & my grammy raised me with Disney & fairytales, but thats what I always wanted...to meet my prince & ride off in the sunset, lol. But growing up, esp. in high school I realized, fairytales aren't real, but you know...you can make your own fairytale & I plan on making mine with Eric. I may be young, but I know what I want. When I tell people I'm engaged & they look at me funny, I laugh because I know what they are thinking "Getting married at 21? Is she insane? That won't last long!"

You are wrong. Every single one of you that doubt me.

I love Eric, I've loved Eric from the very beginning & I will love him till the day I die. We've been through a lot, literally to hell & back. The first year in Japan almost torn us apart, in all honesty it did. But we made it through, its changed both of us (for the better!) & made us both stronger. Every time I see a hint of doubt when I tell people I'm engaged, I think of the Notebook, I think of what Allie said to her mother. "You don't look at daddy like the way I look at Noah! You don't laugh, you don't play, you don't even love each other!" I've seen several older couples like this, years older than me and even a few years older than me. I'm not making a mistake, I don't see Eric for months & I still feel the same about him. He gives me butterflies, he makes me laugh & drives me nuts. But I wouldn't have it any other way, he's the guy for me. Always has been.

Enough of the mushy stuff :3 I can't wait to go home, hug my mom, make a fire, cuddle with my animals, relax & play world of warcraft with my man & just enjoy his last day in the states. In the end, I know all this distance will be worth it.

We'll be okay.