Time

Lately I feel like someone is controlling me like a puppet; pulling my strings tightly, watching me fall and laugh..tangling my strings crushing me. I don't feel like I'm the master of my own universe, if that makes sense. More than anything, I'm angry right now.

I hate time. It goes fast, it goes slow, it lingers, it goes by too quick...it ends. I hate it so much because I never have enough of it and once I do, I don't know what to do with it and then it passes and I'm back to having no time again.

I'm angry that I have little under 3 weeks of school left and I have a lot of stuff to do on my summer bucket list left. Not only that, I have to get ready for school and prepare for starting my life up there again. I have some wedding details I need to get to, I need to paint my room, I need to see people and friends I won't get to see as often, I need to read more of my books that I love to read for fun while I can.

I'm angry at myself because once again, I let time slip through my fingers. I'm angry because I feel like the last 3 weeks of my summer are going to be full of drama and I won't get anything done. Eric is gone for 2 months basically because he's going to be on a ship soon, which is fine because he'll be safe. But we won't talk and I know I won't hear from him which will be hard.

Thats another thing I hate about time! I never get enough time with him and when I do, people ruin that time with him. The time we spend together has to be worth-while and precious, because he doesn't get the luxury like the US based marines do. He has never, EVER in his whole 2 and a half years of being the marines, gotten 2 weeks of leave. The highest days of leave he has gotten is 10.

I hate that my time isn't my own, I really feel like its not. I feel like someone is toying with me! Making time go fast or slow...never giving me enough. GIVING ME A TIME LIMIT TO BE HAPPY.

I just feel so angry right now. So, so, angry.

Time

Time is slow, picks up pace to a steady rhythm then slow dies out again.