I'll talk about my departure from Kent first. It was very, very hard for me to leave Kent; I have lived up there in the same room and the same dorm for the past 3 years. Leaving everything around me that I knew so well was harder than I thought it would be. I had an amazing roommate experience this year and met 3 amazing people that I will never forget. I finally took Japanese and even though I got screwed over with the Japan trip, I think about my Japanese class and sensei every day and how much I miss it. Leaving campus with tears in my eyes made me realize how much of an impact that college has had on me. I learned a lot about myself and a lot about other people. The only regret that I have with Kent State is that I wasn't a history major from the beginning and that I didn't take Japanese my first year. I also wanted to study aboard and I missed that opportunity but besides that, I am happy with my time at Kent State.
When I first got home, I was so happy to be home! So happy to see my animals and mom every day! So happy that I had my car and could drive around. And so happy that I didn't have to worry about classes anymore! It was nice...at first. But as I started umpiring again and running around my hometown I started to remember why the the hell I wanted to leave in the first place. Let's review: I hated high school with a passion and with a passion I mean unadulterated loathing. My hometown itself is a nice area, everything is close and its not too crazy busy or crowded. But...the people here SUCK. People are just flat out mean here! My hometown has a lot of the elder community living here and they aren't very nice and frankly I don't want to be around them. Since I'm home again, a lot of the people I graduated with are home too...so when I go to the local supermarket I get to see people who I graduated with. That is something I don't want to do either, yes...that may sound mean but I want absolutely nothing to do with my graduating class. I have certain people who I keep in touch with and other people who I sometimes talk to, but that's it. I am just sick of living here! (NOTE: NOT THE HOUSE I LIVE IN WITH MY PARENTS, THE TOWN I LIVE IN. Mom don't get offended! :P )
Thirdly, the whole bridal shower/wedding planning and the shower and wedding itself is not what I thought it would be. I thought...that planning everything would be so much fun and that on the day of the events, everything would be fine and perfect. But it's not. I swear that god is either mad at me for some reason or is testing me. Certain people are RUINING this whole experience for me, absolutely ruining it. I was really excited for my bridal shower, but things have happened that are turning this supposed to be happy event into a miserable one. I am very upset because there are too many people for both the bridal shower and the wedding, that I cannot invite a lot of my friends because of it. Last time I checked, the bride's side of the family and her friends are supposed to have the most guests...but apparently the wedding isn't supposed to be about the bride right? Um, do you see what is wrong with what I've just said? Read that last sentence again if you need to.
In all honesty, I wish that Eric and I would eloped. My original plan was give like 5k-10k to Disney world and have them plan the wedding. I could of had a nice 20-50 people wedding in Florida where all everything would of been taken care of and all Eric and I would of had to worry about...was showing up.
A lot of people have been saying that a wedding is supposed to be about the bride and groom's families. This is what I think: a wedding should be about the bride and groom, not their families. Because at the end of the day, there is no family in existence that is like the Brady Bunch, no one is perfect. People are mean, ruthless and hateful...and if they don't get their way...they ruin everything for you. My advice for anyone looking to get married in the future: think of YOU and your SIGNIFICANT other...no one else, not even your family.
At the end of the day, I'll have a beautiful wedding and a beautiful memory to share with Eric for the rest of our lives. The planning and waiting for July 6th will probably be absolutely hell and chaos but you know what? I will make it down the aisle with a smile on my face even if I have to beat someone up because I am DONE with the drama and pettiness. The sad part in all of this, is that you don't realize...that I have the memory of an elephant and I won't forget.
And I can promise you, I won't ever, ever forget this.
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