Saynora Summer Days

My summer vacation is officially over, I've moved into my dorm and in less than a week I will be starting my third year at Kent State. I really wasn't excited to go back to be honest; for the past two years I've dealt with two psycho roommates and mega, MEGA issues with my math and sciences classes. I spent hours dealing with both of those subjects and I only have 1 more math and science class to take and I am done with those subjects forever. Thank god. However, I'm only dealing with science this semester. The real challenge for me  the next few months is going to be...

Japanese.

I am so excited to finally, finally learn Japanese. Its been a dream of mine since I was 5, I love Japan so much and I am so happy that I can check another goal off my bucket list. Then again though, I am horrible at memorizing things..when I took Spanish in high school it was an absolute train wreck! lol.

I do have a very good feeling that this is going to be a good year at Kent for me or at least a good fall semester. I really hope it will be.

This summer I didn't get to do everything I've wanted to do and that is okay because it was mostly a good summer. I got to travel a lot! Vegas and the beach! Hocking Hills! Getting to see Eric, seeing friends, getting wedding stuff done and hanging out with my mom. It was nice.

I also learned a lot this summer, I'll just name a few.

1. My mother is always going to be right no matter how annoyed, mad, or happy I am with her.
2. Some people may be 20-30 years older than me, but they never left high school.
3. Money doesn't grow on trees
4. Animals/pets are EXPENSIVE.
5. You need to limit your access to electronics or you are seriously going to lose all track of time.
6. People may act like nice and friendly to your face, but at the end of the day they really haven't changed.
7. Never go to bed angry, you seriously won't be able to sleep.
8. Don't put things off, get things done now so you don't have to do them later.
9. Always be the bigger person.
and lastly:
10. Enjoy the time you have, enjoy now.

In exactly 4 months, Eric is going to be home from his 2 year deployment in Japan and the only thing that is standing in my way of seeing him again is this semester. I actually feel like a warrior riding into my last battle.

Bring it on Kent.

Final Countdown

On Monday I'll have a week left till I move back to Kent, usually I would have another week till I move in but I am working welcome weekend so I get to move in early, this will also be my second year working welcome weekend. Move in Monday the 20th, Welcome Weekend training the next day for a few hours and then you have Wednesday off and then you work random events from Thursday to Sunday evening and classes start Monday. No big deal, you get to move in early with no hassle for parking etc and you also get $50 flash cash which is nice if you live on campus.

In all honesty, I rather spend that extra week at home! But I know I have to do whats easier for my mom and that is moving in on Monday which I understand...I just wish things were different.

This semester shouldn't be hard, really..I'm just going to need to study and focus more I think. I'm not taking a math class so thats a HUGE weight off my shoulders, but with all my history classes and starting my language (Japanese) I'm going to need to put all my focus into it. However I have a feeling thats going to be a challenge....because sometimes I have an attention span of a squirrel lol.

In the meantime, I am trying to see people and do certain things before I leave. Its frustrating too at times because all of my friends literally work 1-2 jobs in the summer and its hard to work around their schedules. Its also frustrating because my summer job (for the moment anyway, I might be umpiring in the fall) is over and everything costs money. Besides running around and seeing people, I am also trying to finish my room!

And my mom got me an amazing surprise yesterday!

New dressers! I love them so much! I can't wait to paint them and put them in my room! My room is coming together, its just taking longer than intended..but in the end, its going to get done and I am so excited. Mom and I just got paint samples yesterday too...I think we are going to paint my walls grey and all my furniture blue! 

I still haven't heard from Eric, its been a week now but its okay. I'm not upset or angry, I just wish I knew where he was. On a ship or still in Fuji? Either way I just miss him, but I think not talking to him is making time go faster...or maybe its just me.

Wrapping up this summer and everything will be okay...

I think.

Time

Lately I feel like someone is controlling me like a puppet; pulling my strings tightly, watching me fall and laugh..tangling my strings crushing me. I don't feel like I'm the master of my own universe, if that makes sense. More than anything, I'm angry right now.

I hate time. It goes fast, it goes slow, it lingers, it goes by too quick...it ends. I hate it so much because I never have enough of it and once I do, I don't know what to do with it and then it passes and I'm back to having no time again.

I'm angry that I have little under 3 weeks of school left and I have a lot of stuff to do on my summer bucket list left. Not only that, I have to get ready for school and prepare for starting my life up there again. I have some wedding details I need to get to, I need to paint my room, I need to see people and friends I won't get to see as often, I need to read more of my books that I love to read for fun while I can.

I'm angry at myself because once again, I let time slip through my fingers. I'm angry because I feel like the last 3 weeks of my summer are going to be full of drama and I won't get anything done. Eric is gone for 2 months basically because he's going to be on a ship soon, which is fine because he'll be safe. But we won't talk and I know I won't hear from him which will be hard.

Thats another thing I hate about time! I never get enough time with him and when I do, people ruin that time with him. The time we spend together has to be worth-while and precious, because he doesn't get the luxury like the US based marines do. He has never, EVER in his whole 2 and a half years of being the marines, gotten 2 weeks of leave. The highest days of leave he has gotten is 10.

I hate that my time isn't my own, I really feel like its not. I feel like someone is toying with me! Making time go fast or slow...never giving me enough. GIVING ME A TIME LIMIT TO BE HAPPY.

I just feel so angry right now. So, so, angry.

Time

Time is slow, picks up pace to a steady rhythm then slow dies out again.